Social bonding with your child amidst your “busy” schedule

Social bond is the degree to which an individual is amalgamated into the society. A person’s ability to socialize and have good bonding with others is developed since early childhood and begins at home.

“While social development is a long process that lasts into adulthood, the earliest experiences of establishing social bonds are a lot more important than it may seem. In fact, studies have suggested that the first experience of social bond (particularly during the first three years of life) are critical for children’s emotional and social development,” explained Dr Mastura Badzis, an Early Childhood Development and Education Specialist at the International Islamic University Malaysia, who is also the Chairman of the Medical Advisory Board for Mama Net, a locally flourishing educational parenting App.  

Strong attachment and warm relationships with adults especially parents or other main caregivers will form the habit of social bond at later stages in life, in school, in workplace and in the community. It is significant in showing how someone relates to others throughout their lives and how good they are at forming relationships as adults.

Social bonding between parents and child forms a strong tie between them and affects the way the child nurtures and develops physically, intellectually, emotionally, and socially. There are scientific evidences from various research which revealed that children who have strong and abiding attachment to their parents or main caregivers appear to grow up to be better adjusted and more socially skilled than children who have weak or shallow bond.

Social bond for an infant usually begins by focusing on one figure; in this case, parents, as they are the primary caregiver and infants have direct attachment to the figures. Even though in an infancy stage, babies are involved in an unoccupied play in which they just make movements with their own body parts such as fingers, legs, hands etc.; Nevertheless, their very first play mates and play dates are the parents who will very likely provoke their baby into smiling or crying. Mimicking babies cooing and other vocalization, as well as mirroring babies’ movements are the first effort of communication that helps in forming a social bonding. Prior to these activities, participating in the delivery of the baby is also a form of social bonding.

From birth, babies and young children are constructing views of themselves, their relationships to others and their interactions with the environment in which they live. A strong bond and intimate relationship can become the first model of social bonding for infants. Hence, it fosters a sense of security and positive self-esteem. The development of self-concept is unique as it shapes feelings, attitudes, and behaviors of a future adult. All the way through various kinds of first experience of social bonding, infants, and young children will then be aware of other’s feelings, goals, and plans. These experiences are what will be taken into account in forming their actions.

Parents who are being genuine in their response to their children other than demonstrating a real interest and sensitivity can help children to develop respect for self and others. If parents can give the baby a sense of familiarity, consistency, and continuity, the baby will develop the feeling that the world is a safe place to be in, that people are reliable and loving.

However, if positive bonding experiences do not happen, it may result in anxiety, heightened insecurities, and an over feeling of mistrust in the world around them. Interaction and experience if seen by children at this stage as negative will be remembered for life and may cause lasting emotional damage. Consequently, the pathways that are needed in a child’s brain for healthy social bonding experience can be lost entirely.

In the amidst of busy schedule, parents may overlook that talking to babies and young children are small matters. Realizing it or not, creating a positive social bonding with children is simple and it may take not more than five minutes to do that! The warmth of social bonding can be expressed through friendly, humorous, and positive interactions with the child or through cuddle, hug, or embrace. Even an eye-contact, smile or just responding to their cues for food, diaper changes, and sleep will contribute so much to their healthy emotional and social development.

In other respects, some parents may cut off or keep a distance from baby’s crying and hear it as “just crying”. Responding to babies’ crying is also a social bonding and it is quite crucial as crying is the only way babies can express their feeling to tell whether they are afraid of threats, tired, uncomfortable, sick, hungry, or over-stimulated. A prolonged cry and uncomforted distress create a sense of mistrust in the infant’s world that may persist throughout childhood and into adulthood.

In a nutshell, parents as infant’s primary caregivers play an extremely important role in building a good foundation and starting point for young children to create social relationships outside of their families. The right social bonding process can be put in place only with parents’ awareness.