Grandparents – blessing or disaster?

Grandparents can be a blessing in many ways for children and families. They often provide love, support, and guidance, and can serve as positive role models for children. 

They may also provide a sense of continuity and connection to the past, sharing stories and traditions from previous generations.

Grandparents can also play an important role in the lives of their grandchildren by providing child care, helping out with schoolwork, and creating special memories and experiences. 

They may also offer financial assistance, and help with the children during the family crisis or some other major life events.

Nevertheless, grandparents can be a problem when their behavior is harmful or detrimental to the well-being of their adult children and grandchildren. 

Toxic grandparents can engage in behaviors such as interfering in parenting, ignoring boundaries, using emotional manipulation, making negative or critical comments, and refusing to accept responsibility for their actions. 

This can create conflict and stress within the family and can have a negative impact on the mental and emotional health of all involved.

Grandparents may also cause problems if they are unable to accept or cope with changes in the family structure, such as divorce or remarriage, or if they are unable to accept their adult children’s choices and decisions. This can lead to tension and distance between the generations.

Although it can be difficult to deal with toxic grandparents, it’s important for adult children to set and maintain healthy boundaries with them. This may involve limiting contact or having difficult conversations about their behavior.  

If necessary, adult children should seek support from other family members, friends, or a therapist to help navigate these difficult dynamics because grandparents, like anyone else, are human and have their own limitations and issues.