Daisy Chan-August Mama of The Month

Working mothers and dual-income families are a trend that is steadily increasing in our country. Being a working mother is never easy, even more so when you are running your own brand. However, in this Mama of the Month August issue, we have Daisy Chan who is the lady boss of not one, but two up-and-coming brands; Babymummum, a baby food supplement brand, and Fermia, a clothing niche brand in Malaysia. Balancing both family and business successfully, Daisy is here to share with us her experiences, tips, and wisdom of being a mother.

Balancing work and family – with the help of husband and eldest daughter

Facing pressure and challenges at work and home is inevitable for Daisy. Managing 2 businesses and taking care of 2 daughters by herself surely is an invitation for pressure as there’s so much physical and mental labour to be done. So how does she wind down to take the pressure down a notch and release all the negative energy? By having her own ME time of course!

Daisy will always give herself a day off each week, and this day is spent on herself by doing just anything she feels like. Sleep all day? Sure. Ignore all house chores? Yes. Go out for a movie? Yep.

Daisy understands that not every mother has the privilege to have a day off. She bluntly said that she is able to have such privilege because she is blessed with a considerate husband. Whenever she has her day off, her husband will take on the responsibilities of taking care of the children and the house chores and of course, her husband will also have a day off. To add, Daisy feels fortunate that her eldest daughter is already 12 years old and sometimes she helps her to look after her younger sibling and helps her parents ease their never-ending chores.

Morality and Mental health education comes first

In the process of educating children, in order not to lose at the starting point, most parents will only pay attention to the children’s academic abilities such as reading, focusing on their academic growth by signing their kids up to attend different talent classes or activities and forgetting about the children’s moral education.

For Daisy, she is not a mother who always forces her children to read and organise a jam-packed schedule of extracurricular activities. 

“Children’s childhood should not be too full of classes and training. Don’t deprive them of the childhood they should have, and give your children a little more freedom. Let the child play freely.”

She will pay more attention to the child’s personal character, manners and etiquette. Because of this, she also won’t forgive some bad habits of her children if it truly crosses the line, tolerating it will only make it worse, bad habits should be corrected accordingly.

Daisy also explained that she is a mother who gives space for her children to grow up and become independent. She’s not the kind of mother who will always help her children for fear of them getting hurt. Of course, she will not plainly ignore her children. Just like teaching a child to ride a bicycle, she will keep the child in her line of sight and make sure that it is safe to let go and let the child learn and grow from it.

Parenting hurdles – 3 stages of rebellion

Undoubtedly, parents will also face challenges in parenting, big or small, every parent will find themselves trying to get over a parenting hurdle every now and then. One of the most challenging times for a parent is during the child’s rebellious period.

The rebellious period of a child can be divided into 3 stages; Toddler, primary school stage, and adolescent. More often than not, parents face a huge challenge when trying to tell their children to do something – or not to do something. Words would only go through their child’s right ear and out from the left ear, it will not be taken seriously at all! For the children, their parents are just nagging.

 “My eldest daughter who was a well-behaved child has entered the second stage of rebelliousness at age 11.”

Daisy stated that her child began to behave rebelliously and often talk back to her parents with an impolite tone. To counter this behaviour, Daisy will always remind her daughter verbally to mind her behaviour. However when the bad behaviour becomes repetitive or worsens, she will be stricter in her actions – doing something that she rarely does, her daughter then understands that the mother is furious and that she will face severe consequences if she rebelled against her. 

“A punishment that the child will remember, one that the child can understand why she is punished that way. Additionally, I also educate them with ample examples as to why she cannot behave that way. Children are smart they’ll understand quickly – you just need to use the correct method of making them understand.”

The growth of children starts from the gradual letting go of parents

“I believe that many parents do not dare to let go of their children and control their children’s every move. This is because most parents are committed to protecting their children, but sometimes too much protection can also hinder the children’s room to play, which will limit their children’s growth. The creativity of children is also a blessing to parents. In fact, parents should not be too obsessive. They must know that children are also individuals, and they will have their own ideas. One day, the children will start to resist your ideas. Instead start to let go now gradually, don’t wait until the child is older to start letting go, or the feeling of loss will be stronger.”

There are two children in the family,  were there any eccentricity?

“Frankly my youngest daughter has a little delay in speech development. It may be that she is a pandemic baby, she has not been in contact with many people and has not gone outside that much because she has been staying home.”

She added that compared to the eldest daughter when she was 2 years old, she already had good communication and expression skills, and she could respond fluently. However, the younger daughter who is now more than 3 years old, her communication skills are still relatively poor.

When communicating with the younger daughter, she may not be able to answer. Because of this, Daisy needs to be more patient in educating the younger daughter and therefore instils that the older daughter needs to be more considerate. If the eldest daughter is forceful towards her sister, it will result in lots of crying, and it will also cause the parents to be more irritable and everyone is not happy.

Having a growing primary schooler and a toddler, it is obviously impossible to treat them the same. For example, the elder sister has no interest in the cute cartoony pencil case bought for the younger sister. Her oldest daughter has her own interests and things that she pursues, so, as long as what her daughter wants is reasonable and within her ability, Daisy will buy it for her in a heartbeat.